Control isn’t love. Sounds simple enough, but it’s hard to see your own relationship problems in such black-and-white terms. Between “I just called to say I love you” and “I just called to ask ‘where the #&!@ are you’?” lie many shades of gray.

Look closer and you may also see red – red flags, or warning signs, when things start getting uncomfortable and even scary. Put-downs. Excessive text and phone check-ins. Jealous threats. Constant challenges to who you are, what you wear and what you do.

Ignore the flags, and they’ll multiply – casting a larger and larger shadow over life. Can you recognize the red flags? Do you know when to raise them?

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